How and when should you talk with your daughter about period? What to Tell and How to Choose Her First Period Product? We recommend having the talk in advance and maybe help her choose her first period product. Here’s more tips on how to ease your daughter’s transition from girl to woman.
First period is a significant milestone in a girl’s life and not all women have the best memories when it comes to it. Not so long ago, some girls got frightened to death when they discovered blood in their underwear, and no one had cared to warn them in advance. Luckily, such stressful experiences are a thing of the past now.
With a topic as intimate as a woman’s period, we firmly believe that most girls should have the period chat preferably with their own mother. Ideally, a loving mum would pass on her own wisdom to her daughter, explain what’s happening in the body and why, and tell her daughter what she should expect. The optimal outcome of this conversation being the young girl feeling calm and confident she can ask her mum anything if she needs to.
Yes, her mum. Sorry, dads. It’s mums who should have the period talk with their daughters. We’re passionate advocates of both parents being equal here at Bamboolik, but with this topic, the authentic female experience cannot be matched. If your daughter’s mum is absent for some reason, try reaching out to another female authority within your family or within the group of your close friends.
And what about the timing of the infamous period chat? It should happen preferably a few years before the first period comes. We actually think that the earlier the girl learns what a period is, the better. In our book, the female period should not be a taboo in any household. As much as we recommend practising an “open door policy” when it comes to potty training, we would advise you to be open about period, too. Naturally, with regard to your children’s age and privacy. And if you have a son, it doesn’t hurt to tell him what a period is, too.
What to Tell Your Daughter About Period
- Explain what is happening within the body and why. Feel free to search for some educational materials on the internet or get a good book on the topic.
- Tell your daughter what to expect. Describe your own experience but don’t forget to add that your daughter might be different. And that it’s fine.
- Tell your daughter you’re there for her anytime and that you’ll always answer all the questions she may have.
- Your daughter should leave the conversation feeling that a period is absolutely normal, and that it’s actually good news – a period is a sign that your body is healthy and everything’s functioning well.
- Don’t scare your daughter unnecessarily. Yes, period cramps exist and you shouldn’t try to make them a secret but don’t say things like “I cramp all the time during the first two days”. Pick words wisely. Saying “your stomach might cramp the first couple of days, so when that happens, let me know and we’ll do something about it” is much much better.
- Tell your daughter about various period products and let her pick one she prefers.
- We like the traditional first period gift, too! Something symbolic of the transition to womanhood comes to mind – a lovely piece of jewellery or her first real perfume.
First Period Signs
Statistics say that most girls get their first period between 12 and 14 years of age. This is mostly driven by genetics – if you as the mum got your first period at 11, your daughter will most likely be an early bloomer, too.
Signs your period is coming for the first time are much more reliable than statistic figures though. Symptoms before the first period are:
- Your daughter’s breasts have started to swell.
- Pubic hair has started to grow.
- Approximately 6–12 months before the first period actually comes, your daughter may notice a vaginal discharge, usually transparent or whitish. Nothing to be worried about – it’s just a consequence of hormonal changes happening inside the body.
What to Expect During the First Period
A girl’s first few cycles are usually anovulatory, ie. her ovaries don’t release an egg. Which means the first periods are often mild, not too long, and irregular. The body is learning to menstruate. The learning process may take 2–3 years to be completed. After that, the cycle often becomes more intense, both blood- and cramp-wise. In such a case, it’s perfectly alright to offer your daughter some pain remedy.
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Birth Control for Regular and Pain-free Period? This should belong to the past as well. Unfortunately, we know it’s still happening – some OB professionals still prescribe birth control pills just to make a girl’s period less painful and regular, considering it a fix. Which it’s not! Birth control shuts down all the natural processes in a girl’s body that has not yet developed fully, sending the natural cycle to hibernation for many years. A very unnatural thing to do, a decision that may have serious consequences in the future. |
So what if your daughter’s cycle is irregular during the first year. The only complication it brings is that it’s more complicated to plan swimming pool visits. That’s pretty much it.
If your daughter suffers from painful period cramps, seek remedy. A very common piece of advice might actually be really helpful – like warmth on the belly. Give your daughter a day off school and let her rest. Most likely, she’ll be fine tomorrow.
That said, do not underestimate period cramps whenever they start to complicate your daily tasks. And don’t ever tell your daughter to just “suffer through it”. Really painful period cramps could be a sign of endometriosis – one of the most underdiagnosed women’s diseases.
Period Products for Girls
When it comes to picking period aid, present your daughter with all the available options and explain their pros and cons. Tell her what you personally like and don’t like, explain why and add your recommendations.
Pads or Tampons?
Tampons definitely could be used by young girls who are still virgins – but we think it’s not necessary in most cases. A 12-year-old girl won’t most likely have a clue where to insert a tampon.
Sanitary pads seem to us much less invasive than tampons. It’s just that some girls might find it uncomfortable to have a plastic layer in their underwear – in such case, consider reusable sanitary pads which are made of cotton. Or try period pants. What are the pros and cons of these two?
Sanitary Pads for Girls
Sanitary pads are still an extra layer in your underwear but made of much more comfortable cotton. More pleasant to touch than artificial materials of disposable sanitary pads. With the first period being usually quite mild, your daughter might be well off with just a panty liner – smaller and less noticeable than a regular sanitary pad.
Period Pants for Girls
Period pants are a step further from reusable sanitary pads. They feel and also look like regular underwear. Period pants are considered to be the most user-friendly solution for young girls, actually. Have a look at Underbelly period pants for example – youthful in their cut as well as design.
